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Presidential Inauguration, Survivor-Style

This Magazine Staff

As Americans prepare to make history before the world’s watchful eyes, the town of Washington DC is gearing up for a natural disaster. Next
Tuesday’s inauguration of President Elect Barack Obama is starting to sound more like a drill for an impending terrorist attack than a celebration.

In preparation for this historic moment, the city of Washington DC will be shut down. There will be no access from any of the bridge crossings from Virginia, and the downtown core will be cut-off. Over at the State Department, all essential personal will be required to spend the night prior to the presidential inauguration sleeping under their desks on inflatable mattresses.
Journalists are being told to prepare for “survival conditions,” especially because the majority of the washrooms in the downtown core will remain locked for security concerns. The city has committed to erecting 5,000 porta-potties, or about one toilet for every 10,000 people. And that’s assuming turn out is low.
Add to this a mass of arctic air, predicted to descend on the city this coming weekend, and you’ve got a recipe for one hell of a party. Or one hell of a endurance test, depending on your sense of adventure.
What ever happened to the good old days, when a gathering on Washington Hill required little more than love beads and a joint?

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