Hey loyal readership, (here’s to hoping there are at least a few of you)
I am in the midst of moving from my bed-bug-invested-cesspool-complete-with-ineffectual-management bachelor apartment into my first condo. (What? Disabled people can afford condos? With some subsidy, my friends — like Obama — YES WE CAN!) and the first question is always, “Where can we put the scooter?” (See: Human Frogger for more on issues related to this lovely little device.)
I can’t park it in the hall next to my suite door because, as I was so eloquently reminded by my up-on-current-events neighbour, “It’s a fire hazard!” If you know someone who would’ve been able to flee a burning building if not for the granny scooter parked flush against the wall in a two-lane hallway, then please let me know where they’re buried so I may pay my respects.
Most people would say, “Just park it in the suite, you safety-obstructor of pure evil.” However, that is where you are wrong, my friends. The door to my suite is not automatic, so I may scratch its Brazilian teak finish and have to pay for the damage. Not to mention the water from the slush outside being tracked in onto my carpet.
What is a man to do?

In this case, my building and strata council are being ever so accommodating and “allowing” me to park in the Bike Room. There’s just that little matter of the waiver saying they’re not responsible for any damage to my scooter (negligent biking residents or not).
I am grateful, don’t get me wrong, but if you’re going to open your building to residents with disabilities, why does the idea of accommodating a scooter sound like touching a porcupine to most people (complete with the necessary precautions)?
People really do fear what they do not understand.
Aaron is a freelance journalist living in Toronto. His work has appeared in Financial Post Business, Investment Executive Newspaper, and TV Week Magazine, along with Askmen.com. He is a regular contributor to Abilities Magazine and is currently plotting a weekly web comic called GIMP, with artist Jon Duguay, about a handicap school bus driver who wakes up after a crash to find he’s the last able-bodied person on earth — and he’s being hunted.