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Mild, Streaky Toronto—beloved of a nation

This Magazine Staff

I need to get this in quickly, while it’s still relevant. I know the RoC is dying for a Toronto update, so here goes:

We haven’t seen sunshine in it seems like months, and the temperature has been hovering a few degrees above freezing for way too long for this time of year. Backyard rinks are a mess right now. If this weather keeps up, we may have to adopt a self-righteous yet pot-smoking attitude and start calling ourselves The Couv.

On the other hand, the Blue Jays have spent the winter meetings filling all the holes that needed filling. We haven’t had a better team since the glory years. Bring on the spring.

As well, the Leafs have won six in a row and now stand seven points ahead of Montreal. How did THAT happen, with Montreal being all good and everything and Toronto sucking? What a weird world. Only ten back of superpower Ottawa, as well. And Lindros, the saviour, has been injured the whole time. Wonders. They are ceaseless.

Finally the Raptors have won four in a row, and just crushed, I say crushed Orlando last night 121-97 (for non-basketball cities, that’s a crushing). It’s like Toronto suddenly can’t lose. Maybe that will make Mason stop talking about bringing Ron Artest here—like we need another hot dog with an attitude problem playing pro sports in this town.

Now, we get to decide the federal election. Busy, busy, busy.

If I lived in any other city in the country, I’d have an inferiority complex about Toronto, and criticize it all the time.

Update:
I invite quick snapshots of other Canadian cities as we start busting open the New Year. I’d do it myself, but I can’t think of any other Canadian cities. Is New York a Canadian city?

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