Unlikely hero, Brian Diesbourg, hauled off and booted a football over fifty yards and put it through the uprights—for non-sports fans in the audience, this is a very, very long way, even for a professional football kicker, which Brian Diesbourg is not—last night at halftime during the Toronto/Hamilton CFL game (hey, guess who won), and for his efforts he will now receive ONE MILLION DOLLARS from hamburger-pusher Wendy’s, the contest sponsor.
Please Note: The one million dollars will be paid to Mr. Diesbourg in $25,000 installments once a year for… forty years. Not only that, but before the kick, Mr. Diesbourg was allowed to practice for only 30 minutes—carefully timed by the insurance company that would be on the hook should he make good. Finally, having set up for the final kick, he was required to wait during a commercial break to actually make his attempt—a cruel and, one can only assume, an intentional destabilization of his preparation.
Did the giant cheque afterwards say “First Installment of 40… see you in your 60’s sucker?”