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He’s like a freakin’ god or something

This Magazine Staff

Nothing can make you cynical faster than following pro-sports because you happen to love the game. Baseball players pounding out record home run years and then testifying before Congressional hearings into steroids. Ouch. Let’s not even talk about pro hockey.

And then there’s that Lance Armstrong guy. He’s got the looks, the girlfriend, the life story. It’s all in place, so naturally, you’d think something about him has got to be wrong. Performance enhancing rumours have come up, but does anyone actually believe them? The other riders he regularly humiliates have nothing but good things to say about him, and he them. Here’s a bit of Lance lore from today’s fifth stage of this year’s Tour de France, after a masterful team time trial yesterday in which he set a tour record. From the official Tour website:

In a sympathetic gesture for Dave Zabriskie, the rider who lost the overall lead because of a crash at the end of the team time trial, Armstrong refused to don the coveted jersey at the start of the stage.

He didn’t believe he’d earned the right to wear yellow because of the unfortunate circumstances that surrounded his inheritance. In the neutral zone, Lance wore his Discovery Channel jersey but the race organizers insisted that the peloton stop at the site of the official start. They had to coax Armstrong into yellow. He eventually succumbed to their wishes and racing got underway, albeit five minutes after the expected departure time.

Oh, plus he has his own cancer survivor foundation. Somebody tell me the guy hurts cats or something. Please.

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