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Stephen Harper’s Head Explodes as He Tries to Explain All the Ways He Hates the Liberal NDP Deal

This Magazine Staff

Witnesses at Mr. Harper’s speech today in Amherstburg, Ontario report smelling toast shortly before a loud flash of exquisite purple light. After that, Mr. Harper’s headless torso continued with the Conservative leader’s preset itinerary, and is expected to press forward with a headless non-confidence vote as soon as Parliament resumes.

From the Globe story:

“It was only less than two months ago that we had a federal budget, we were given some financial figures. We were told those financial figures were the real figures, now miraculously another $5-billion is available. This isn’t the first time this has happened,” Mr. Harper said…

I guess that means Harper might actually decide to register a vote on the budget this time. And just what does he not want the feds spending money on?

“The deal means that the Liberals will, over the next two years, put new money toward affordable housing, education and the environment.”

EXTRA, EXTRA —Stephen Harper hates poor people, schoolchildren and the planet! … and he wants you to hate them too. Why? Because they cost too much money; money that would be better spent giving tax breaks to corporate welfare bums.

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