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Turkey Time USA

This Magazine Staff

Our American friends are celebrating Thanksgiving this weekend, and the traditional “pardoning” of a well-fed turkey happened on the White House lawn. Hilarity on the subject from the geniuses at The Onion.
“Cousin Wattle’s (a 41-pound White Holland tom) conduct prior to the pardoning ceremony prompted Justice Department officials to authorize the bird’s detention as an enemy combatant,” McClellan said. “He exhibited hostile, potentially seditious behavior that could endanger the safety of the president or other government officials.”
Officials report that Wattle became agitated shortly after he was led into the White House Rose Garden, where he broke loose from his handlers and began strutting about the grounds. Witnesses allege that Wattle, without warning or provocation, began to flap his flightless wings wildly and rush nearby White House staffers, ignoring orders to halt. Wattle also allegedly pecked Council of Economic Advisors Chairman Greg Mankiw on the left hand.”
Read White House Thanksgiving Turkey Detained Without Counsel

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