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A tale of two corporations

This Magazine Staff

Edited b/c I can’t spell Purolator
Last week, I was waiting for a Very Important document (ok, a cheque) to arrive by Fedex. Oops — Ms. Delivery Woman knocked while I was in the shower, leaving a note saying “pick it up tomorrow at…”
But I wanted the cheque NOW. So I called Fedex, got a nice-sounding woman (she sounded like she was in the midwest, but she wouldn’t tell me), explained the situation, and she said No Problem. She called the driver on the road, he turned around, and I had my rent money 30 minutes later.
This week, I’ve been waiting for a package that went out by Purolator last Friday. I really wanted it by the weekend. Again, Mr. Purolator arrives while I’m out fetching the morning papers. He leaves a note saying, “pick your package up Monday Sept. 13th at…”.

Cripes, I think. What’s the point in using a courier if it takes 12 days to get to you? So I called up 1-888-SHIP-123 and try to find out where my package is. Press 1 for service in English. I get a pleasant sounding man who, unfortunately, speaks poor and heavily accented (South Asian, I’m guessing) English. We have a very hard time understanding one another. Finally, I get it across to him that I want to know if there is any way I can get my Very Important package today.
Answer: “No. It’s on the truck.”
I tried twice more, same answer. Finally gave up.
Setting aside all concerns about my need to have things immediately, here’s a quick quiz:
One of these companies is a publicly-traded limited liability corporation run by professional managers, with a share price currently trading at around US$85.
The other is 94% owned by a Crown Corporation run by assorted friends, lackeys, cronies, and toadies of the Liberal government.
Guess which is which?

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